


We need a title! (at least one character long, please.) (I really am not inspired for this today...)(by the way ao3 is polite but cold... that 'please.' ...lol)

by Ktxitx



Series: I had a weird one-week obsession with kisses [2]
Category: BTOB
Genre: How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, M/M, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, and this is the second one, anyway, i can't explain it myself but three stories were born in that week, i had a weird obsession with kisses, i was just having fun, it's cute i guess, should i make it the 'i had a weird obsession with kisses' serie, these tags are so dramatic lol, two weeks ago when i started this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 19:56:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16793710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ktxitx/pseuds/Ktxitx
Summary: As the title might indicate, I really don't have any inspiration today...





	1. Firssssssssssssssssssssssssst kisssssssssssssssssssss

\- Ah! Hyung! Move ! I need to clean the floor!! -Sungjae whined, trying to push away, armed with a broom, a sprawled-out-on-the-practice-room-floor Changsub, who had been looking at the ceiling for an uncertain amount of time.

\- Relaaax, we still have time...

Changsub still wasn't moving one bit so Sungjae gave up, sighing as he let himself slip into a sitting position, putting his broom down with him:  
\- We didn't even train that much, why do you look like you're dying?  
\- I am thinking.  
\- Thinking? I didn't know you could do that!  
\- Hey!

Sungjae chuckled, he really liked to bother Changsub, who always acted like he was the victim when he was probably the most annoying one among them.  
\- You should lie down or stretch... don' stay sitting like that you'll get sore....  
Sungjae smiled, though annoying, Changsub was a kind person, somewhere deep down...  
He did as he was told and stretched as they had been practicing dancing for a while. They would be debuting soon and were practicing pretty much all the time. Since Changsub and him were a bit behind, they always spent extra-hours practicing to catch up.  
\- So... what'cha thinking about?  
\- Life.  
\- ... Life? Don't tell me you're gonna go all philosophical again and try to sound deep because it really doesn't suit y... ouch! Why would you hit my leg like that?  
\- You're noisy and wrong. First, don't get me started if you don't like hearing me talk! And, I was thinking about how many stuff were left on my checklist!  
\- Your checklist? What checklist?  
\- When I started being a trainee, I made a checklist and promised to myself I would have done it all before I debuted.  
\- And... did you make it?  
\- Pretty much, but I'm thinking about if I've forgotten stuff... don't you have anything like that?  
Sungjae lied down too, feeling like Changsub definitely wouldn't move for the world right now so he would have to wait before he could finish cleaning up. He sighed, answering while thinking about it:  
\- I don't know... I guess I had never really thought that far... but now that it's all becoming true... maybe I should make one too...  
\- Come on, what does the Great Yook Sungjae wish to do? I'll help you out fulfilling it!  
Sungjae blinked, lurking at the ceiling, there was one thing that had come to his mind, but he felt kind of ashamed to talk about it.  
\- Well... There's that one thing...  
\- …What?  
\- Hum... I wish... I...  
No, saying it was too embarrassing. He couldn't word that...  
\- Whaat? Now I've gotten curious... what is it that the Great Yook Sungjae doesn't dare say??  
He was giggling and Sungjae was blushing madly, thankfully Changsub was still lying on his back and wasn't looking at him so he couldn't see.  
\- I wish... I... I wish I'd've had my first kiss before debuting...  
Changsub suddenly stopped laughing:  
\- You've never kissed before??  
\- Why do you sound so surprised? -Sungjae was quick to answer, Changsub had raised his body a bit, looking at him:  
\- I thought the Great Yook Sungjae would have had tons of kisses already!  
\- Stop calling me that!! And no! -Sungjae brought his hands to his face, trying to hide his embarrassment - Not since the kindergarten kind of kisses...  
Changsub starting rolling around, giggling madly, really, it wasn't that funny. Sungjae's face had turned a bright red, it wasn't that embarrassing, he was only 17 after all! Tons of kids haven't had their first kiss at that age yet! After he had managed to calm down, Changsub asked:  
\- But how come? Come on, with that face, you're not going to make me believe you never got confessed to?   
\- It's just... by the time I started getting interested... I was already a trainee and it took up too much room for me to think of anything else...  
Changsub, who had started giggling again when Sungjae had said "getting interested", tried hard to calm down, it wasn't nice to make fun of the younger like that, he was still a kid after all, by the time he was all calmed down, Sungjae was sulking already, standing back up:  
\- Now hyung, move or I'll have to sweep you out!!  
Changsub reluctantly stood up and headed out, he wanted to add something but Sungjae had already taken his earphones out and was aggressively sweeping the floor. He would make up for this later.

_________

There was less than a month left until their debut, their practicing was hectic and Sungjae had tried forgetting about that checklist thing, he didn't have time to do it, though he had thought of a few things and done some, like taking the time to thank his parents for letting him try hard to achieve his dreams, he had thanked them before, but now, it felt like all of his hardwork would pay off.

It was around 3 a.m., Sungjae had practiced very late, though, as a minor, he was supposed to have gone back home a lot of hours earlier, because he had unfortunately crossed paths with someone who had sent him home immediately. But it actually seemed he was the first one home, as far as he knew, Ilhoon was still a minor too and no-one seemed too care he was still practicing at this time...

Sungjae had just gotten out of the shower, ready to go to sleep whe he heard the door sound, he had savored a longer shower than usual as for once, he was alone at the dorm. They had moved in not too long ago, and would stay here even after their debut.  
It appeared to be Changsub, Sungjae wasn't surprised, Changsub was the kind of person who needed a proper amount of rest, otherwise, having to put up with him was just a nightmare, so someone had probably forced him nack home too, that someone being most probably Eunkwang.

Changsub nagged at him because he should have been in bed since long ago and Sungjae stuck his tongue out as a response, ready to escape and run to his bed.  
\- Wait!  
Changsub grabbed his arm to stop him, and smiled:  
\- About that checklist... did you manage to cross off some stuff? I know you've been thinking about it I saw you writing it...  
It was the first time he had brought it up, Sungjae shrugged, frowning, why did he suddenly care? Changsub smiled:  
\- Of course you wouldn't, all we've been doing is practicing... Then... - he smiled again and walked closer to Sungjae- I can do one thing to help you out... If you don't like it, just push me away, okay?

Sungjae could only watch as he leant closer and closer, so slowly that Sungjae could have pushed him away ten times if he had wanted to, but he didn't move at all, his heart almost stopping, when the older's lips brushed his. It was pretty much just a peck, a very chaste and sweet kiss.

But it was still Sungjae's first kiss. 

Sungjae's heart was stammering in his chest. So this was how being kissed felt? 

Changsub leaned back, still smiling:  
\- Now, you've got at least that crossed off right?  
Sungjae couldn't even be mad, he had totally seen it coming, but still, it was like a page was turning in Sungjae's innocence...   
He just blushed, smiling awkwardly, wouldn't things be weird between them now?

But no, surprisingly, Changsub really naturally patted his hair, tip-toeing to do so:  
\- You've gotten too tall Sungjae ya! -he added, smiling- You should go to bed!   
Sungjae did as he was told, he should have gone to bed long ago anyway, and the next day, it was like nothing had happened, as if it had just been a dream or something. Sungjae still smiled, crossing it off his list. Wasn't it for the best that it had been Changsub instead of anyone else? He was someone Sungjae liked and trusted, aren't these the critters you would want when you kiss someone? Plus, Changsub was acting completely normal about it, and so did Sungjae. Though the memory was still vivid, he figured not telling anyone would be for the best.  
And that's how Sungjae got his first kiss.  
Of course, he was fine with this turn of event, but how could he say that he had actually been thinking of the more grown-up kind of kiss?

_______

Sungjae would have probably let it become a small sweet memory somewhere deep in his mind if it hadn't been for that second kiss. It happened on another night after a long day of practicing, there were only two weeks left before their debut and Sungjae and Changsub were both sprawled out on the practice room floor, resting for a bit, letting the others go home ahead of them.

They had never talked about that kiss again and Sungjae actually thought Changsub had forgotten all about it when after a while, the older said:  
\- By the way Sungjae, -he rolled on his stomach, looking at Sungjae while resting on his elbows- I realized you probably thought about some kiss like French-kiss kind or something, am I right? If I am, you must have been disappointed then...

Sungjae hastily rolled on his stomach too, facing Changsub:  
\- No no no no hyung! I wasn't disappointed at all! It just got me more curious...  
Changsub's smile was back, that exact same smile he was harboring last time, Sungjae found his heart starting to beat faster as the older quite literally crawled closer:   
\- Wanna cross that off the list too?

Sungjae felt himself blushing, why was Changsub so shameless? But the older didn't seem to care as he sat up, Sungjae subconsciously followed, and the elder’s smile only widened, making his eyes disappear, which made Sungjae smile, though now his heart was a mess and he wondered why he was becoming such a mess...  
Changsub got closer again and gently pulled Sungjae toward him, making the latter's heart feel like stopping once more.

They kissed. And Sungjae liked it a lot. He didn't know for how long, but he really liked it, and when Changsub pulled away, he patted his hair saying:  
\- You're cute Sungjae ya... Now, we should go home, shouldn't we?  
He stood up and gathered up his stuff like nothing weird had happened here at all.

They got home, and apart from Sungjae's messy heartbeats from time to time when Changsub got too close, it seemed everything was completely normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo! so i recently watched the asmr thing, what's the name of the show? after mom is asleep?? anyway, if you haven't watched it yet, beware, my brain is all f*cked up now... i'll be nightmaring about horse heads for a while lol (this is a joke, but it did really f*ck up my brain, I accidentaly thought about it in the subway and had to supress the uncontrable laughter coming up in order not to look like a complete psycho...)... anyway thanks a lot for reading, I hope you have an awesome day (in case you hadn't noticed, I'm in a good mood, I have actually been giggling without reasons all day i'll just ignore myself... it might be hard but...) this might take some time to get finished since I may be stuck but, but I will finish it somehow maybe, I'll have some sort of ray of inspiration in two and a half minutes and finish it in one go but I highly doubt it...
> 
> I just realized I could have just finished it here... but it would be missing something, wouldn't it??


	2. More kissssssssssses... (why am I even naming the chapters? (should I name this story kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss?)

They debuted a couple of weeks later and the next 4 months swung by so fast Sungjae didn't see any of it pass. Before he knew it, they were overseas, promoting for some event. Then back home, then back away and already preparing for their next album. It was amazing, yet incredibly tiring. When they finally got a few resting days, they all went back home, Peniel, who couldn't go back to the states went to Sungjae's house, which had the younger happy, and before they knew it, the resting days were already over and they were all gathered back at the dorm, Ilhoon pressing Eunkwang to let him drink alcohol because it's not because they had just debuted that they couldn't have some fun.  
Eunkwang felt pressured, wanting to let him drink but feeling like he shouldn't, he hoped Minhyuk would be the more responsible one and say no, but he should have known that whenever alcohol was involved, Minhyuk was weak…

Anyway, in the end, Hyunsik convinced him to say yes, they didn't have anything special for the two days following and it was only fair the youngers could at least once celebrate their debut properly. He got to Eunkwang and he said that okay, just for this once, but the kids had to promise not to tell anyone, Sungjae smiled, that meant it was a yes for him too... He had rarely tasted alcohol apart from when his father allowed him to, so he was really excited on that one.  
A few hours later, they had all ended up scattered in the living room, Ilhoon sprawled in the middle, laughing at everything going on:  
\- Guys guys! Let's talk real!  
Minhyuk suddenly seemed very serious so Hyunsik and Changsub stopped their fake boxing, Peniel stopped cheering on them, Sungjae stopped playing with Ilhoon's hair that was getting too long and Eunkwang's head rose from the pillow it had been resting on:  
\- What baby?  
\- Did you just call him baby? -asked Changsub, an eyebrow raised.  
\- You should be glad he didn't say daddy... - added Hyunsik, almost whispering but loud enough so everyone heard it, which made Eunkwang jump up and try to hit him but Eunkwang slipped and fell bottom first on the ground, which had everyone die in laughter.

After calming down, they circled around Minhyuk, who for some reason had just laughed, and he said:  
\- I didn't think you guys would be this reactive! I just thought we could play a game, we play rock-paper-scissors and the one who loses has to answer any question he is asked!

They all sighed in disappointment:  
\- I expected more of you than a weird truth or dare without the dare game... -sighed Ilhoon.  
\- I just thought we could get closer... -Minhyuk sheepishly said.  
\- It's not like we have anything better to do! The one that doesn't play is a chicken!! Rock-paper-scissors! - Eunkwand blurted out the last words, pulling out rock proudly.

They had all subconsciously joined and Minhyuk was the one to lose the first round, he had to answer how he had thought of such a lame game and they added the rule that they had to drink if they didn't answer. They kept on saying Changsub was no fun since he kept on drinking instead of answering, Ilhoon laughed maniacally each time he was asked anything (from Minhyuk asking if he had stolen his underwear to Peniel asking if he really disliked skinship), Peniel was the crowned winner of the night as he still had never lost and Minhyuk, who had suggested the game just kept on losing. Sungjae managed to almost never lose, only around 3 times, he was amazing at rock paper scissors, but he ended up losing for the 4th time, and couldn't miss Ilhoon's evil smile as he asked Sungjae's most feared question:  
\- Sungjae, did you have your first kiss yet?  
Sungjae wasn't quite sure how to answer, he wanted to say yes but he was afraid more questions would be asked, he suddenly felt very hot, he was unexpectedly saved when Changsub suddenly put his arm around his shoulders:  
\- Didn't you tell me you had a kiss once? An _increeeeeeeeedibly_ nice one?  
\- Hum… I… hum...  
\- I remember you said it was in middle-school? -Hyunsik asked.  
Sungjae sighed in relief, vividly nodding, from where Hyunsik had thought he had heard that, Sungjae had no idea but at least, he was saved for now, Ilhoon sighed in disappointment and Eunkwang's interest seemed to suddenly have risen:  
\- Middle-school? Does that even count? Did you kiss anyone since? Do you want to be kissed? I could kiss you if you really wanted to kiss!!!  
\- Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!  
Sungjae reaction came from so deep in his heart he didn't even try to control it, it is only later he wondered why picturing kissing Eunwkang had felt so gross when it had not felt weird at all kissing Changsub…  
Speaking of the devil, the latter still had his arm around Sungjae's shoulders and was smiling that weird smile at the whole scene, but no-one but Sungjae noticed as Ilhoon brought everyone's attention by asking:  
\- So Eunwkang hyung, when did _you_ have your first kiss?  
Eunkwang frowned:  
\- Why do I feel like you know this embarrassing story you should never have heard of?

It ended up in Eunkwang chasing Ilhoon around, which put an end to the game, especially since Peniel seemed almost asleep already and they figured Ilhoon would probably fall asleep as soon as his head would hit the pillow too.

Sungjae was taking his time in the bathroom, he had just finished brushing his teeth and was in the mist of drying his face after having washed it, when he heard the bathroom door softly being closed. He spun around ready to say he wasn't done but got surprised as a wild Changsub suddenly hugged him. Sungjae words got lost along the way and he just tried to keep his heart from beating too obviously fast.  
Changsub smiled as he leaned away randomly cupping Sungjae's face and he kissed him without any warning, Sungjae was too flustered to do anything but letting himself go with the flow, when they broke apart, Sungjae found himself stuttering:  
\- Wh...why?

Changsub pinched his nose:  
\- You're cute!

He winked and Sungjae acted like he was grossed out though he found it utterly cute, he was about to say something but an annoyed knock on the door interrupted him:  
\- Sungjae! Move it! You've been in here like forever!  
\- Yes yes hyung! Just two more minutes!!!  
Sungjae prayed Minhyuk would go away, someone needed to be worried because Changsub definitely wasn't, he was busy staring at Sungjae's lips and it was making the younger all flustered again he was about to push the older out of the bathroom with him when he suddenly leaned in to kiss him again and Sungjae's heart litteraly dropped.  
The worst was that he shamelessly went away, like nothing had happened.  
Sungjae's heartbeats were still erratic and he really wondered what the hell was going on in Lee Changsub's mind...?

To say it became a habit might be a bit much, but it did happen again... A few times actually, before their second album's promotion, during, and after, and then, after their break and during their tour... actually, whenever they felt like it… (in other words, it did become a habit...)

Usually, when that weird smile was back, Sungjae knew he would somehow be kissed in the ten minutes following… (which he didn’t dislike) And he had started wondering how Changsub would react if he took the first step, he wanted to see him getting flustered...

He took his chance when it was only the two of them, in a vocal practice room, Sungjae had ended up napping there and when he had woken up, Changsub was playing on his phone beside him, probably taking a break too.  
\- Oh Sungjae ! Did I wake you up? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to… but there people everywhere and I wanted some peace and qui… why are you looking at me like that?

Sungjae, who had been staring intensely at Changsub's lips, wondering whether or not he should follow the instinct of kissing him right now, did not answer, too lost in his own thoughts...  
\- Hey!! Yook Sungjae!!  
Hearing his name, Sungjae just let it go, leaning in, his hands instinctively going up to get lost in Changsub hair as he kissed him.

To say Changsub was suprised would be an understatement, flustered even, Sungjae had never initiated anything, Changsub's phone fell from his hand when he dropped it to grip Sungjae's shirt when the latter started leaning away, keeping him from moving as he started properly responding to his kiss.

Sungjae was out of breath when they broke apart, his heart beating fast, this had somehow felt different... like... he wouldn't know how to describe it... But he knew Changsub had probably a similar feeling since he was blushing and that unlike usual, he wasn't back at being completely normal.

Hours later, Sungjae still wasn’t over it, this had been something really different... maybe, maybe it was time to put an end to this little habit? He felt like it wasn’t just about kissing anymore… like now, there was something more…  
Was he… was he falling for Changsub?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the ray of inspiration did magically come it seems... anyway, thanks a lot for reading, I hope you have a great day and like me, are keeping a little corner of your head countdowning to 2018/12/11 (#ktxitx, who has been waiting for Changsub's korean solo album for a long time...)(now allow me go back to my non-stop at the end listening...)


	3. back... on this story yeah!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I fell upon this again, read it and when I reached the end was like: "What is that open ending bullshit?", I decided I didn't want any open ending and launched myself at finishing it, as often, I got carried away writing... anyway, I will give this the ending it deserves...  
> And, be prepared for some drama, I tried out some new sort of elements... (for some reason, my changjae stories usually turn into experiments...) I am not yet quite skilled at describing feelings, so I hope it turned out fine, like I said, I got carried away and didn't change that much of it afterward.

Changsub's heart just wouldn't calm down. What the freaking heck Yook Sungjae?  
It was all fine but then he was suddenly kissing Changsub out of the blue.  
Don't get him wrong, he loved it, he had actually been hoping for it, but having it come true was... not what he had expected, he was happy Sungjae was manning up, but suddenly, the reality of it all had caught up to him and he was freaking out.

At first, it had really been out of kindness, he felt bad for laughing at Sungjae and had figured this was something he could actually help with, beside, there was no denying it, Sungjae was hot, Changsub had to admit the thought of kissing him might have once or twice crossed his mind before, but he had quickly brushed it aside back then.  
After that first little innocent kiss, he had let the memory linger in a corner of his head, but he had not missed how Sungjae had developed the tendency to stare off in the distance absent-mindedly, his hand slightly touching his lips. And that was when it had hit him. Sungjae probably didn't mean that kind of kiss, like, who'd dream of that for a first kiss? Changsub figured he needed to help him with that too. Not that he was a kiss expert, but he wasn't that bad... He tried to get the idea out of his head, but it couldn't so he figured the best would be to just ask Sungjae about it.

Changsub was pretty sure that second kiss started his slight addiction to the youngster's lips. He had noticed that Sungjae tended to look at him in certain a way sometimes, a way that he had chose to interpret it as the "I'm thinking about kissing but don't want to make it that obvious" face and, well, Changsub always obliged, it wasn't his whole fault, he was weak when it came to Sungjae, it was a well known fact about him after all.

But, all these kisses were like... how could he explain? No string attached? Neither of them had time to date anyway so Changsub had been thinking about it as their own little secret entertainment.

It had only occurred to him it just shouldn't go on when Sungjae kissed him in the vocal room. Once again, not that he disliked it, on the contrary, but that kiss had somehow felt different. Like it wasn't just about kissing once in a while for fun, that maybe, it had never truly been about kissing once in a while for fun. And it could not go on, it was not healthy, for their own sake as well as for the group's sake, there where too many what ifs that could go wrong...

After that kiss, there had been an awkward moment, which had never happened before because Changsub was usually quick to get his head back together, where they had just avoided looking at each other in the eye and then Sungjae had abruptly stood up, saying he needed to go and they had not had time to speak about it since, he had just left Changsub there, with his racing, and confused, heart.

It was only two days later that Changsub managed to corner Sungjae somewhere. They were in the practice room, both early for their group practice and Changsub took it as an advantage, Sungjae tried to avoid him by starting to head back out muttering something about getting water, but Changsub stopped him, grabbing his arm:  
\- Wait. We should talk.

He tried not to get distracted by Sungjae nervously biting his lip and added:  
\- We should probably stop... that. It's... I don't think it's health…

He never finished as Sungjae suddenly stepped closer, cupped his face and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Changsub closed his eyes, not pushing him away as the temptation to kiss back was just too much and when they parted for air, he couldn't keep himself from pushing Sungjae against the wall, if this was the last time they ever kissed, he might as well enjoy it. He knew Sungjae felt the same by how he was gripping to his shirt tightly, however, he had to tear himself apart from Sungjae when he felt a dangerous wave of desire brush over him and he needed to step away a bit to calm himself down.  
Sungjae never let go of his grip, keeping him close, the younger was panting and he seemed lost, though he already knew where this would go.

Changsub shook his head:  
\- You know it too... We can't go on like this…  
\- But...  
Changsub hated how he was hurting the both of them right now.  
\- We both knew it from the start Sungjae... I think we should stop before feelings get involved... hell, we work together we can't let that come in the way…  
\- Hyung... you started it…

Sungjae's voice was weak and Changsub could feel the youngster's grip on his shirt tighten even more. He cupped Sungjae's face, talking in the softest voice:  
\- I know... I know... I didn't think this through back then... I was a stupid jerk and I still am…

Sungjae shook his head, Changsub could see tears forming in his eyes and he hated that he was the cause of it.  
\- But...  
Sungjae's voice died down, and it reminded Changsub that, no matter how mature the younger could act, he was still young and fragile, and he did not want to hurt him more than he had already.

\- Sungjae... I'm so sorry... I…  
\- I know hyung... I know it's for the best... But it still hurts...

Sungjae's grip loosened and he gently took Changsub's hands off his face.

\- It's not like we're even together... why am I like this?

Why was Changsub's heart aching so much?

The first week after that was awkward, but then, Changsub entered a practice room and saw Sungjae struggling with a song, he went to help him, counseling him on how to reach the note and after that, it was as if everything was back to how they were before.

Except that it never did completely. If Changsub had been attracted to Sungjae before, he was head over heels for him now. He would always laugh at his jokes, he liked to tease him more than anything, and he couldn't help being jealous of anyone too close to him when he had no right to be, which was why he had developed a huge talent at ignoring his own feelings.

Sungjae on the other hand, tried really hard. He might have become a bit harsher at teasing Changsub, sometimes he wondered if he wasn't too mean, but it was the best way for him to keep a safe distance. And maybe, some little part of it resented the elder... Months went by and the feelings that Sungjae had thought would fade away somehow managed to grow stronger. He wondered how would things be now if they had not been rational, he wondered how Changsub felt, but, though the older was still surprisingly great at pretending everything was fine and normal, Sungjae had seen the look on his face that day, and above it, he had felt it when they had last kissed, these had not been the same as before.

Sungjae had figured that kissing is good, but kissing with feelings is even better.

Sungjae would usually arrange things so they didn't end up alone together for too long, and he had been great at it until that one day, they to stay at a hotel since they were having a fan meeting on the other side of the country, and they played rock-paper-scissors to sort the rooms out, he could not avoid it when the game made him share his room with Changsub.

Sungjae spent the evening in Peniel and Eunkwang's shared room, chatting with the first while they both made fun of the eldest who was playing video games on his computer and kept on loosing, saying they were giving him bad luck, which only made them laugh more...

Sungjae went back to his room, not that late since he needed to be well-rested for their fan meeting the next day, lowkey hoping Changsub would already been asleep, but he was surprised to find the room's lights still on and...

\- OH MY GOD! Hyung! Are you alright???

Changsub, who was sitting on the bed, raised his head, looking surprised:  
\- Yes, why wouldn't I be?

Sungjae stepped closer, looking worried, there had to be something wrong, maybe this wasn't his Changusb hyung, maybe this was some sort of copy...  
\- But hyung... you're... you're _reading_!?!?!!

Changsub stared blankly at him for a while before just rolling his eyes as he sighed:  
\- Yes, Sungjae, I do read sometimes...  
Sungjae burst out laughing:  
\- I'm sorry... It was just... so _unexpected_...

A small smile appeared on Changsub's face, Sungjae's laugh was way too contagious, and beside, him reading was indeed quite a rare occurrence... He was still thankful that Sungjae calmed down quickly and apologized again, for once it felt like he was respected...  
He stretched, putting his book down:  
\- Anyway, I'm going to sleep, good night Sungjae...

Sungjae, who had gone to the bathroom to brush his teeth answered something that probably meant goodnight, before he washed his face, thinking that maybe, this wasn't as awkward as he had feared, it had been going smoothly, like everything was normal, it made Sungjae wonder again how Changsub felt about him now... Maybe he didn't care, maybe it had been just a little crush and now he was completely over it and only saw Sungjae as a younger brother or something like that.  
But whatever happened, he couldn't help but know that the elder would never be just a hyung to him, and it still hurt to know that it would most probably stay as their current relationship was for a long time, before they drifted apart even more.

Such a shame, Sungjae thought, they were great together... And their little kissing times had made him happy in a way he had never experienced before, so at least, it would stay a pleasant memory, that would, probably, fade away with time too...

\- Hey Sungjae... You alright? You've been in there for a while!!

Sungjae weakly smiled, hadn't Changsub said he was sleeping?  
\- Yes hyung, just go to sleep...

He turned off the lights and went to bed, it was not the first time he shared a bed with Changsub, as the hotels didn't always provide single beds, this was actually a common occurrence for all of them. Sungjae did have his preferences though, Ilhoon always stayed put throughout the night on one side of the bed, Hyunsik was the same kind too, but he usually stayed up later than Sungjae did, however, sleeping with Eunkwang was the worst, he always ended up right in the middle, or sideways, whether there was someone next to him or not... The worst night he had spent in a hotel was one where there had been something wrong with the reservations and a room was missing, Sungjae had ended up sharing a bed with Eunkwang and Minhyuk, and the both of them moved a lot in their sleeps, and since Sungjae had snored a lot, they had kept on kicking him that night. Worst. Night. Ever.  
Though Changsub wasn't as still as Ilhoon, he was alright, he just tended to complain about Sungjae's snoring for at least three days... It was kind of annoying really...

Sungjae glanced at Changsub's side of the bed, it looked like he was already asleep, but Sungjae knew it usually took him a while to fall asleep in the evening, Sungjae was convinced it was because he napped too much during the day and Changusb asserted it had nothing to do with it, he just had too many thoughts at night, to which Sunfjae would come up with a witty answer if he had the inspiration, which he usually did...  
\- Hyung... - Sungjae whispered - Are you asleep?

Changsub only groaned as an answer and Sungjae wasn't sure whether it was because he was half asleep already or because he didn't want to talk. He was pretty sure it was the latter but the first could actually also be possible. He hesitated for a while, staring at the ceiling, before talking again:  
\- Hyung...  
\- Just sleep Sungjae...

Sungjae really wanted to, but a while later, sleep still wasn't coming. He was pretty sure Changsub was asleep so he was afraid suddenly turning on the light would wake him up, he tried to quietly look for his phone but ended up making it fall on the ground and never got to pick it up as he heard Changsub sighing and saying:  
\- Yook Sungjae, just sleep already...  
\- Oh... sorry hyung, did I wake you?

After a short moment where Sungjae thought Changsub had gone back to sleep right away, he felt the elder moving, turning to face Sungjae.  
\- What's wrong?

Sungjae knew that if he answered nothing was wrong, Changsub would either pester him until he got an answer he was satisfied with, either turn back the other way and sleep. The ever problem with Changsub, it would often be all or nothing with him... Sungjae sighed:  
\- I don't know... I just can't seem to fall asleep...

Sungjae turned on his side, facing him.

\- I'm not even stressed out about tomorrow, I guess I just have too many thoughts on my mind...

He couldn't see Changsub well in the darkness, and had the weird urge to extend his hand to touch his face, but he had learn to restrain himself well, he sighed and was ready to turn back the other way and go back to his sleeping attempt as Changsub had been silent for a while when the latter suddenly moved closer:  
\- Come here... -he whispered, pulling a puzzled Sungjae to him.

He locked him in a hug, wrapping his arms around the younger, who felt like Changsub's warmth was somehow like home, adding in a soft whisper:  
\- Just for tonight... - after a while, he added- Don't think about anything now...

Sungjae closed his eyes, he felt safe, nice and warm. He wanted to always sleep like that. Changsub was patting his back softly, and his regular breathing was soothing him. This was so nice. He hoped Changsub couldn't hear his heart beating erratically, though soon it started calming down, Sungjae slowly drifting off into a deep sleep.  
It started off some sort of new habit, very rarely, they would do stuff people who are just friends wouldn't normally do, like hugging each other to sleep. It never went further than hugs and sometimes, a kiss on the cheek, it was some sort of untold compromise within them, they couldn't let it be more than that, and though they both wanted more, they respected this one rule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I did not intend to make it go that way at first, but there is no turning back now... this, is sad... really, I almost broke my own heart writing... just kidding, I love making people suffer MOUJAJAJAJAJAJ!! (not true though... don't bother me... I will just go back to the little hole in the ground I popped out from)  
> Thanks a lot for reading, I don't know when I will be able to finish this cleanly, but I definitely will!! 
> 
> Not much to do with it but I loved Minhyuk's solo album, like, yes, go get it dude! And, though he hasn't left for 2 weeks and a half, I already miss Changsub way too much... this is going to be long... and thinking Minhyuk will be gone in like 2 or 3 weeks now... but at least, they will be back quickly... yeah... LET'S BE POSITIVE! I WILL BE BUSY ALL THE TIME ANYWAY! HAVE A LOVELY DAY!


	4. The end (it's really the end this time)

Though the rest of the group had noticed something had been off with these two, they figured they could sort it out themselves, especially since it didn't seem to be like they were in a fight or something, there was just something a bit odd in their way of interacting, none of them thought much about it until that day Sungjae was sick…

Sungjae was the hardworking type, they all knew that, which was why Eunkwang was not surprised to see him already there when he entered the dance room for their group practice. However, something was off about Sungjae, the usual energy that seemed to surround him all the time was gone. Eunkwang walked up to him, already suspecting the younger was sick and wasn't planning on telling any of them when he should be resting right now.  
He grabbed Sungjae's wrist and tip-toed to reach his forehead as Sungjae looked at him, surprised. As Eunkwang had predicted, he was burning up. He shook his head:  
\- Yook Sungjae, what are you doing here? You're sick!! You go home and rest!

Sungjae was about to protest that no, as long as he could stand, he could practice when he felt someone softly grabbing on to his hand, saying:  
\- Don't worry hyung, I'll bring his stupid ass home and make sure he rests, I already learned the choreography anyway...

Of course, Sungjae thought, Changsub just had to get involved...

Eunkwang looked confused for a second but just nodded, watching Changsub drag a protesting Sungjae away with him.

Once they were out of the practice room, Changsub shook his head:  
\- Yook Sungjae, you should take a better care of yourself!  
Sungjae chuckled:  
\- Look who's talking! You're worse than I am...  
\- Don't try to pick on a fight you brat, let's just go home.

Though Sungjae was still protesting for the show, he was glad that it was Changsub bringing him home, he loved Eunkwang, but it was just not the same... He let Changsub drag him around without complaining, which worried the latter, saying he really had to be very sick because he was being unusually quiet. Sungjae just shrugged as an answer, now that he wasn't focused on anything anymore, he felt the grogginess invading him, he felt weak. He wanted to be home.

Once they were there, Sungjae immediately went to lie down. He was followed in their room by Changsub who was telling him about how they were right to have sent him home, he was sick and he should use the opportunity to sleep, because they should always take any opportunity to sleep and rest.

Sungjae just nodded to whatever he was saying, he wanted to go straight to sleep but Changsub told him to go change first and he did as he was told, which awarded him with a comment on how he should be sick more often, it made him a lot more bearable to live with. As Sungjae had finally gone to bed, Changsub went to see what they could have to make him feel better, maybe some cold medicine or just some tea, when he came back, Sungjae looked like he had already fallen asleep. Maybe it was just that he was exhausted. Changsub knew that Sungjae was the type to overwork himself and not to care about it until his body couldn't follow anymore... He sat by Sungjae's bedside, sighing, he looked so young and cute when he was sleeping, Changsub couldn't keep himself from stroking his hair, thinking that he should probably go get him some wipes to put away the sweat on his forehead. He wanted to go back to the office, but at the same time, he felt uncomfortable leaving him alone in his state. In the end, he stayed put since when he tried to get back up, Sungjae grabbed his hand in a half-awake state, asking him to stay. And Changsub sat back without much thoughts, how could he leave him if he asked for him to stay?

##### \--- Interlude: A little gossiping session ---

Eunkwang was the last to go home that night, he was surprised to find Minhyuk, Hyunsik and Peniel in what seemed to be a big, though calm, debate, they were talking low, sitting at the kitchen table.  
\- I think it's been a while... - Hyunsik was saying, his arm crossed on the table - I mean, at least, something's been going on... That is for sure...  
\- I repeat, I am sure they are not toge... Oh, Eunkwangie, you're home!  
\- What's all of this about? - Eunkwang asked, looking for a chair to sit on.

Peniel shook his head toward the bedroom:  
\- We're wondering about what's been going on...

Eunkwang frowned, forgetting about his chair, he went to check what Peniel meant. All he found was Sungjae, for some reason sleeping on Hyunsik's bed, and Changsub who had fallen asleep at the foot of said bed, it wasn't surprising, it had happened last time, when Ilhoon was sick, too. Eunkwang shook his head, someone could have at least put a blanket over him, of course, Sungjae was the sick one, but who doesn't feel cold falling asleep like that? It is only once he was next to him, looking for his comforter to cover Changsub's shoulders, thinking about how they were cute when they weren't fighting over nothing, that he noticed what the others had been talking about.

They had their hands intertwined. In a way that looked so natural Eunkwang would never have noticed if he had not stepped closer. He frowned, so had they been discussing what that was about? He finished what he had started, putting the comforter so Changsub wouldn't be cold, and since he was at it, he fixed Sungjae's blanket on him, he walked back out and joined the others back in the kitchen.

\- So, what are your assumptions? - Hyunsik asked.

Eunkwang scratched his head, not answering. Hyunsik added:  
\- I think they're together, but they're afraid to tell us, Ilhoonie, who's taking an awfully long time in his shower by the way, thinks they're not together at all, Peniel hasn't made much assumptions, he says he prefers listening to us first and Minhyuk thinks there has been something going on but they're not together.  
\- I don't think, I am sure of it... - Minhyuk was frowning.

Eunkwang almost wanted to laugh at how serious they all seemed. He sat down, seeing that Minhyuk apparently wasn't done yet.

\- I mean, as I already said, I thought at some point they had something, you know, there were moments... And the fact that they sometimes disappeared and looked very joyful when they came back was extremely suspicious, but by the time I started paying more attention to it, it all stopped. And ever since, they've been kind of distant... I'm certain that they're not.  
\- I agree with Minhyukie on that one. They would be hiding it very, very well if they were... - Eunkwang commented - Maybe Sungjae just wanted someone to be like his mom since he was sick or something...

They all giggled at the absurdity of Eunkwang's comment and Peniel said after a while:  
\- You remember that night when we let the youngests drink for the first time? I just thought of something...

They all nodded, wondering what it had to do with the current situation.  
\- I think something was up at that time. You guys remember Changsub hyung's reaction when Ilhoon asked about Sungjae's first kiss?

They all frowned, trying to remember what he was referring to, this was quite a while ago, but then Minhyuk had the revelation too:  
\- You think they kissed?  
\- I mean, it was fishy... Sungjae was blushing way too much, and Changsub looked way too happy, when this had, at least for us, nothing to do with him...

This was a good argument, Eunkwang thought, but...

\- Maybe they did kiss, but that doesn't explain today's situation... - Hyunsik said, voicing the same conclusion Eunkwang had come to.

\- I think my theory's the right one. - Minhyuk said, crossing his arms. - It was around that time that my suspicions were born...

\- Shouldn't we just ask them? Instead of writing our own novel? - Ilhoon, who had just gotten out of the shower and was still drying his hair, asked.

They all more or less nodded, before Minhyuk said:  
\- I still think I'm right... if there was something, it's over now.

Peniel shrugged, standing up to go take his shower, and they dismissed their gossiping session to go mind their own businesses, after agreeing that when they would have the time and after some more observations, they would ask the two about this.

##### \------

Sungjae woke up feeling way better. He looked around, and found a glass of water that he was about to grab when he realized his hand was already taken, or rather, realized Changsub was still there and had fallen asleep at the foot of the bed. And they were holding hands. Actually, Changsub was more gripping his hand than anything, he had a hard time freeing it without waking him up, and he restrained a laugh at how Changsub frowned in his sleep closing his hand in a fist. He was cute, Sungjae thought.

He gladly emptied the glass of water and figured that no-one would bother if he stood up, he felt really fine now. However, the first person he had the misfortune to cross path with was Eunkwang, who, as quick as lightning checked if he still had fever, which he did, so Eunkwang sent him back to his (actually, Hyunsik's, he had felt too weak to go to his own and had plopped down on the first bed that had come across him earlier) bed, sighing. Eunkwang followed him closely, scolding him and asking if he had taken any medicine. Sungjae vaguely remembered waking up at some point, and feeling glad Changsub was still there, but all he had focused on was the elder gently stroking his hair, so he really didn't remember if anything else had happened, but he wasn't going to explain it that way to Eunkwang for sure...

He shrugged as an answer, noticing that Hyunsik had invested his bed and was sleeping soundly, it made him realize the others had probably noticed he had been holding hands with Changsub, and if they had, what had they thought about it? Had they jumped to conclusions? His heart started racing thinking of all the possible reactions they could have and he felt dizzy again, thankfully, Eunkwang thought it was just the fever acting up and scolded him again, saying he should only get up to go to the bathroom. That statement had Sungjae laughing but maybe, Eunkwang was right, he should rest some more...

He took a while falling back asleep though, he couldn't bring himself to close his eyes when he had Changsub right there, still sleeping soundly in what seemed to be a very uncomfortable position.

He must have fallen asleep anyway since when he woke back up, Changsub was gone and it looked like it was daylight already. Sungjae wondered how long he had slept. He started standing up, staring for a while at the wipe that fell from his forehead, wondering where that had come from... He stood up, given how calm it was, they were probably all gone now, he found a note on the fridge, Eunkwang scolding him because if he was reading this it meant he had stood up, followed by a heart and indications on what he should eat. Sungjae smiled, was Eunkwang his mom or something?

Sungjae spent the day lazing around, he didn't feel like sleeping and had barely any fever left, of course, he pretended he was still half dead when Eunkwang called him, you know, just for fun, but he had not expected Changsub would come back earlier than usual just to check on him.  
The latter stared at him with an eyebrow raised when he found him eating a snack in the kitchen instead of resting and shook his head, mumbling:  
\- I knew Eunkwang and Minhyuk hyung were worried for nothing... He said you were dying when you answered the phone... I should have known he over reacted...

Changsub would have said more but he got startled at Sungjae suddenly hugging him, not just a little hug, no, this was more like imprisoning him in his arms, what had gotten into him suddenly?

\- Being alone here was fun at first but then none of you guys were coming back home and I felt so lonely and bored... All I could do was try to fill the emptiness in me by eating...

Changsub chuckled, Sungjae was so over dramatic sometimes... He patted Sungjae's back, before holding him tight, thinking that after all, this was nice, Sungjae was kind of cute when he wanted... Sungjae rested his chin on his shoulder, apparently determined on hugging him till the end of time, which to be true, Changsub wasn't sure he would bother. He tightened his hold on Sungjae, thinking about how life would probably be easier if they had made other choices.

He got startled when Sungjae suddenly kissed his cheek, before letting go of him with a smile:  
\- Thanks for coming back home first hyung! Come on, let's finish my snack together!  
\- ...Shouldn't you be resting?  
\- You're only saying this because you wanna eat it by yourself aren't you? I'm fine now, Yook, amazingly handsome and dashing, Sungjae is back on his feet...

Changsub chuckled:  
\- Your self-confidence raised by a hundred or so too, didn't it?

Sungjae laughed, grabbing his hand to make him sit before he realized Changsub still hadn't taken his coat off, it made him laugh for some reason as he offered to go hang it, which Changsub found extremely suspicious, reaction that offended Sungjae as this was just a random act of kindness from him. They were in the middle of bickering when Minhyuk stepped in the kitchen:  
\- Hum, Hum... Hello there... Am I interrupting something?

They both looked at him surprised, neither of the two had heard him entering. Sungjae only realized then he was still holding Changsub's hand and that his other hand had been on Changsub's chest since he had offered to go hang his coat. In other words, quite an unexpected situation.

\- Oh hyung, - Sungjae said, blushing and quickly dropping Changsub's hand, shoving the other in his pocket - Changsub hyung doesn't trust me, so I'm offended...

Minhyuk only answered with a stare that showed he wasn't commenting anything but found the both of them very suspicious, though this was actually the truth, and kept on walking to the bedroom. Changsub just shrugged and went to hang his coat himself.

They had been very good pretending everything was fine and normal, but after Sungjae was sick, it became harder, especially since they didn't miss how all of the others were suspecting something fishy, and they had all the rights to. And though they had become great at self-control, they did snap once.

They had just finished their latest album promotions and were staying in a hotel since they had had their last signing event during the day, they would go back to Seoul the next day and Sungjae had ended up sharing a room with Changsub. They were both very joyful for some reason. When Sungjae closed the door behind them, their eyes met and suddenly, they were standing so close to each other their lips were almost touching, there was a slight moment of hesitation, before they crashed their lips together in a hungry kiss, Sungjae had forgotten just how much he loved kissing Changsub, and how he had missed it. He pushed Changsub to the bed and they kept on kissing, his hands were lost in Changsub's hair, that was another feeling he had missed, Changsub's hands traveled from Sungjae's hair to his back to his hips until suddenly, he broke the kiss, pushing Sungjae away a bit:  
\- Wait... no... we shouldn't...

Sungjae looked at Changsub's messy hair, his already swollen lips and how his shirt had wrinkled in their messy kissing and figured maybe it was too late to think that, but he got the point, he tried to calm his racing heart down, breathing slowly. He wrapped his arm around Changsub, resting his head on the elder's chest, pouting. He sighed, closing his eyes. Trying to calm himself down, but at the same time he wished they hadn't stopped...

\- Hyung?  
\- Hmm... - Changsub answered, he had started patting Sungjae's hair, trying to brush it since it had gone pretty messy.  
\- It's funny... we've been talking about feelings getting in the way and everything... But we never said it...

Sungjae's voice was low, he had started tracing lines with his finger on Changsub's chest, which felt a bit ticklish to the latter, but he didn't want Sungjae to move so he didn't say anything, waiting for him to finish.

\- Hyung. - Sungjae's hand stilled and he raised his head, looking at Changsub- What if we just fuck it and date? You already know I love you anyway.

Changsub bit his lip, Sungjae was always so straightforward...

##### \--- Meanwhile, in Minhyuk and Hyunsik's room, a little gossiping session: ---

\- Okay, now I range with Minhyuk. - Ilhoon said, his arm crossed and he had taken the best spot on the bed.  
\- Why? You were so sure of yourself last time. - Eunkwang said with an eyebrow raised.  
\- It was before I started paying attention. These two are like two lovebirds but I agree, they're not together.  
\- And have you seen how clueless they are? It must be the fifth time in a row they magically end up sharing a room and they don't suspect a thing. I say: blinded by love. - Minhyuk said.

Peniel chuckled, they had been making it easier for Sungjae and Changsub, and it seemed the two didn't notice a thing... so oblivious...

\- They've gotten careless too... Should we, I don't know, intervene or something? - Hyunsik asked.

They all scowled at him:  
\- I think it would make things worse. - Peniel said.  
\- There's probably a reason they're not together... Maybe we should look into that... - Ilhoon declared.  
\- And how do you think we're going to have them talk? I say, we spy! - Minhyuk seemed to like the idea way too much so they all ignored him, though it was tempting.

They ended up agreeing not to do anything for now, keeping their current flow as it was. And changed the topic to which of the snacks they had was the tastiest.

##### \------

Changsub's heart was beating like crazy. Sungjae was way too confident about this. Had he forgotten why they had stopped in the first place? Weren't they crazy?

\- Guys...

Everyone in the room looked at him, Peniel and Eunkwang were in the middle of a fifa match, Minhyuk and Hyunsik eating and Ilhoon was cheering on Peniel from the couch.

\- I've got something to say!

They all stared blankly at him, waiting.

\- Hyung and I...

Sungjae pulled Changsub's arm so he would stop hiding behind him, just because Sungjae was taller didn't mean he was less scared of their reaction than him. Plus, Sungjae was younger, Changsub should be the one talking, but okay, maybe Sungjae had been the one insisting he should talk because Changsub would probably get lost and beat around the bush for hours.

\- We're... hum... dating.

Of all the reaction he expected, he hadn't thought they would simply nod unfazed and go back to their occupations.

\- Hey, don't you even care?

Ilhoon sighed, crossing his arms:  
\- Yook Sungjae, did you guys think we were dumb enough not to notice how fishy you guys have been? We investigated... And even helped you clueless children out... And that is how you thank us? Do you have any...

\- Ilhoonie, I'll talk... - Minhyuk said - DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW MANY TIMES WE SAVED YOUR STUPID ASSES? Did you think none of us would notice you, shamelessly making out whenever you can?

Changsub wasn't so surprised they knew, they had been careless these days, to be true, he had kind of wanted to get caught just so he wouldn't have to tell them, that is how much of a coward he was...

\- We did take a while to figure you guys out though... But we noticed the recent changes these days... You guys should seriously calm your hormones down... - Eunkwang said.

\- I am a healthy 19 year old, I have needs...

Sungjae had whispered but everyone heard and couldn't keep themselves from bursting out laughing, the youngest was cute.

\- So, you're not mad?

Changsub had hesitantly asked once everyone had calmed down.

\- Well, we've had time to get used to the idea by now... - Peniel said.

The others nodded in agreement to the statement and Sungjae giggled, dragging Changsub with him in a crazy joyful dance.

\- HYUNG THEY APROVE! YOU SEE I WAS RIGHT!!!!

Changsub laughed at his craziness, Sungjae had had a hard time convincing him, it wasn't that Changsub didn't want it, he was just constantly over thinking everything, and thinking about everything that could go wrong, but Sungjae knew how to be convincing. Hell, he was a master at this. And so Changsub had slowly let himself be convinced...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo!!! Belated happy new year by the way!!
> 
> Thank you for putting up with me (and how did I manage to add more than 6k words? Like... whaaat?) and for reading this till the true end!! Have a great day folks!!!


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